Chapter 8

Ianto grabbed Tom’s hand as the walked from the car to their flat, leaning in close to the man as the climbed the stairs to the third floor. Tom smiled and wriggled his hand free, wrapping his arm round the young man’s shoulders instead, kissing him gently on the side of his head as he unlocked the front door and guided him inside.

They’d had to stay later than usual due to a Rift ‘burp’ that had produced a number of objects that had to be retrieved and catalogued. Tom had stayed to make sure Ianto was okay, but he hadn’t realised that it would be ten by the time they got home. He sighed inwardly as Ianto broke away from him, heading into the kitchen to make them both a coffee.

“Do you really think you should be drinking that at this time of night? You’ll never get to sleep.” Tom folded his arms and leaned on the doorframe, watching Ianto move systematically around the kitchen.

“I’ll only have one. It won’t keep me up too long.” He turned and smiled wryly, Tom chuckling in reply before walking forwards and wrapping his arms around the Welshman’s waist. Ianto leaned forwards and captured his lips in a soft, gentle kiss, feeling the smile that pulled at Tom’s lips. “You know what, forget the coffee, I want to go to bed now.”

Tom chuckled again and Ianto smiled in return, slipping his hands into Tom’s and pulling him from the kitchen and through to the bedroom, kissing him again as he shouldered his jacket off and kicked his shoes across the room. Tom groaned in approval and wrapped his arms around the young man’s waist again.

Ianto was careful not to let themselves get too carried away, keeping the contact limited to kissing, varying between intense, deep kisses to gentle, feather light connections. He knew that Tom was getting a little suspicious at his distance over the past couple of days, but he couldn’t help himself. Every time he got too close, Ianto backed away a little, lowering the physical contact a bit and keeping things safe for himself.

Eventually, he pulled back and smiled, kissing Tom’s neck gently and running his nose along the man’s stubbly jaw line with a hum of contentment. No matter how dubious he was, he did still feel a powerful sense of safety and happiness in the other man’s presence, and there was no doubt in his mind that he loved Tom.

“Come on, I think I need to get some sleep.” Ianto looked into Tom’s eyes and smiled briefly. Tom smiled in return and pressed a kiss to his forehead before taking his hand and pulling him down onto the bed, not bothering to change clothes.

Ianto sighed happily and pressed back into Tom’s chest as he wrapped his arms around the young man’s waist and pulled him close. Ianto closed his eyes and willed himself to forget the swirling colours that spiralled and spun across his closed lids. He evened and slowed his breathing, knowing from experience how to fake sleep.

He continued for several long minutes before he felt Tom’s weight shifting as the other man got up to most likely tidy the flat a little before he too fell asleep. Ianto found himself lost in the pattern of his breathing in the dark silence and drifted off into an uneasy sleep. The last thing he remembered was the soft sound of Tom humming to himself from the living area.

Ianto dreamed of a room, cold and grey, hostile like the interrogation room but with no mirror or exits. He looked around and found himself faced by two people; Jack and Tom. Jack stood with his arms crossed, a thoughtful look on his face as he stood and observed Ianto like an experiment. Tom was leaning back on the opposite wall to Jack, hands in pockets and legs crossed, a small smile on his face.

Ianto tried to take a step backwards, but his feet were glued in place. He tried to open his mouth to ask one of the questions flying through his mind, but his jaw wouldn’t obey his commands. All he could do was look from one man to the other. From the dangerous to the safe, the childlike to the mature, the exciting to the mundane… From Jack to Tom.

With a soft jerk, Ianto found himself awake, shaking slightly despite the fact he was now under the covers. He pushed them back a little, careful not to disturb his now sleeping partner, and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Taking a moment to orientate himself, he rubbed his eyes, confused and alarmed by his dream. There was only one way to sort this and it involved talking to someone he wanted to avoid at all costs.

With a sigh, he pushed himself up and headed out of the bedroom, tucking his shirt in as he walked and picking up his suit jacket from where Tom had placed it on the sofa. He slipped it on and found his work shoes, shoving his feet into them as he hurried to get his task over with. Grabbing his keys from the bowl in the kitchen, he left the flat, shuffling down to his car as he attempted to wake himself up a little more.

Glancing at his watch, he found it flashing 23:45 at him. So it was still the same day then. It had gone incredibly slowly. Maybe walking would help to straightened his thoughts out.

During his walk to the Hub, he found himself thinking of his past, not of his current predicament. Every so often, he would see a shop or a picture that reminded him of his childhood and his family. It was with a slight pang of sadness that he remembered burying his father in his first year of college. He’d dropped out soon after and landed a job at Torchwood One.

He walked slowly through his usual route across the plass and into the Hub once he reached the edge and winced slightly at the loud alarm, feeling the warm rush of air hit him as the door opened, proving that Jack’s afternoon with the climate control hadn’t worked very well. Ianto walked through the door and up towards the workstations. He was greeted by a confused looking Jack.

The sight of the captain did nothing to help Ianto’s now wavering resolve. He’d removed his dress shirt and pushed his suspenders from his shoulders, smears of oil and dirt across his face, arms and the white under shirt.

“Ianto? Is everything okay?” Jack frowned at him, wiping his hands on the towel he was holding.

“Uhh, yeah, everything’s fine.” Ianto swallowed again and tried to avoid Jack’s eyes.

“Then why’re you here in the middle of the night?” Jack looked at him in concern, obviously worried about the man’s mental stability again.

“I think we need to talk.” Ianto looked at Jack and Jack returned the gaze. He knew that tone of voice and he knew how he’d be spending the next few hours. He nodded slowly before gesturing Ianto to follow him through to his office. Ianto settled himself into the visitors chair and waited for Jack to take his own seat on the opposite side of the desk. Once he’d sat down, Jack looked at Ianto thoughtfully for a few moments before leaning back in his chair and sighing.

“I need to know about your trip, Jack.” Ianto looked down at his hands, leaning forwards in his chair. He heard Jack sigh and shift in his seat but didn’t look up.

“I know. Where do you want me to start?” Jack asked, noting silently the way Ianto was calling him by his name.

“Well, why did you go?” Ianto asked, staring at his feet.

“I needed to talk to the Doctor.” Jack replied, Ianto looking up sceptically. “I needed to see whether he could… fix me.”

“Fix you?” Ianto frowned a little.

“I needed to find out whether he could make me mortal again.” Jack met Ianto’s eyes with a strange intensity. He could tell that the young man didn’t understand.

“But… why?” Ianto continued to frown.

“Do you think I like living endlessly? Not able to settle down with someone permanently? Have a family and be able to stay with them?” Jack asked in exasperation, sighing again and shaking his head. “It’s horrible, faking your death so you can escape the holds of those you love, so you don’t have to watch them grow old whilst time doesn’t even affect you.”

“Okay, I can understand that.” Ianto replied quietly, thinking for a moment as to how to continue. “I can understand that. The only other thing I think I need to know is what happened.”

“Why do you need to know that?” Jack’s voice was suddenly harsh, protective.

“Because when you came back, you were different. You weren’t the same as when you left. I want- no, I need to know what happened to change you like that.” Ianto met his eyes again and matched the stubborn look he was receiving, his tone harsh and demanding. He wasn’t backing down.

“It was a year for me.” Jack replied, not breaking away. Ianto swallowed his shock and continued to watch. “It was a year in which I died hundreds, if not thousands, of times. I watched as someone exterminated the human race, rounding up you lot and killing you all in front of me… Slaughtering you because he knew how much you meant to me…”

“Slaughtering…?” Ianto’s head was spinning. Whatever he’d been expecting, it wasn’t this.