Chapter 6

I don’t believe it,
You were easy to leave but now,
I do my best to relieve it,
In the only way I know how,
Just like a man.

Ianto had arrived at his usual time, greeting Jack with a cup of coffee and a smile, as always. Jack had done his best to act in the same way as the young man, but he’d found it incredibly hard. Several times he’d had to physically restrain himself from going to Ianto and kissing him again. He was relived when the others turned up for work, setting the professional ball rolling for the day.

At around mid morning, Jack was watching his team working, through the glass window behind his desk which was covered with intricate patterns that only he could decipher. He smiled at Gwen and Owen bickering over something and Tosh, as per usual, sitting back and calmly mediating the argument, shaking her head at the interaction.

He scanned around for Ianto and found the young man standing in the kitchen area, a bowl in his hands as he leaned back on the counter. Jack watched, mesmerised for several moments as Ianto ate his cereal and drank his coffee. He found himself longing for the days when they’d eaten their breakfast together, long before he’d died, come back and disappeared on them all… Long before Ianto had turned to someone else for comfort that Jack had never really given him.

With a sigh, Jack sat forward again, propping his head up on one of his hands as he thought about just how much he’d abused Ianto’s trust and affection.

It had been so easy for him to just up sticks and run after the Doctor, not giving more than a moment’s thought to what it would do to the team he left behind. At that moment, when he'd heard the TARDIS and felt the rushing wind, all he could think about was that the years of waiting were over. He was here and he could get his answers now.

It had been an easy decision to make. Unfortunately, the trip had gone horribly wrong. Still, Jack had gotten his answers and returned to his team thinking he’d been gone for no more than a day or two. Again, the plan had gone horribly wrong. All the answers he’d received, the personal flaws he’d come to terms with, were for nothing without Ianto there waiting for him.

Jack sighed heavily again and pushed himself violently out of his seat, his bad mood escalating again. He grabbed his coat as he stormed out of his office, stopping in the middle of the workstations to pull it on.

“I need to get out.” He said as he straightened his collar, everyone watching him in concern at his sudden decision. “I’ll be on the comm if you need me.”

Without another word, he left Hub through the Tourist Office entrance and walked swiftly across the plass, avoiding the lines of sight of the CCTV cameras scattered around the place. He didn’t want the team following him.

Back in the Hub, Tosh, Gwen and Owen were exchanging glances. None of them had any idea where he’d gone, but only the two women were remotely concerned. Owen was more amused than anything.

“I told you that once he found out tea-boy wasn’t waiting for him, he’d go all prima donna on us.” Owen rolled his eyes and sat back, ignoring the glare he received off Tosh.

“Well, I for one don’t care. We dealt for a month without him, another few days won’t do much difference.” Gwen folded her arms and pouted more to herself than anyone else. No matter what she said, she was still glad Jack had come home. “We’ll just make sure there’s a huge pile of paperwork for him when he comes back.”

“You guys shouldn’t be so hard on him.” Tosh said quietly, having turned back to her computer. She felt her face heat up under Gwen and Owen’s incredulous stares. “Haven’t you noticed how much he’s changed? He’s not himself, not yet.”

Owen was about to offer some typically sarcastic retort when Ianto walked over to them, carrying a tray of coffees. Owen quickly snapped his mouth shut and turned back to his computer. Ianto handed the mugs out suspiciously, watching his team mates as they systematically avoided his eyes.

“Okay, what’s happened?” He stood in the middle of them all, right where Jack had been, with his hands on his hips. His tone didn’t invite anything other than the complete truth.

“Jack’s just left. He said he needed to get out.” Gwen was the only one to meet the young man’s eyes, offering all the information she knew.

“Right.” Ianto glowered, speaking to himself. “That’s it, he’s not pissing around this time.”

“Ianto?” Owen turned round at the vicious tone in the young man’s voice, a little alarmed. “Ianto, where’re you going?”

Ianto was heading towards the door, hands balled into fists. “I’m going to get his butt back down here.”

The anger in his voice shocked the others so much that none of them argued with him as he headed out of the Hub. Ianto just fumed silently to himself as he left through the Tourist Office and headed purposefully across the plass to one of the taller, near-by buildings.

Without hesitation, he climbed up to the roof and stepped out onto the blustery stretch of concrete. Just as he’d assumed, Jack was standing on the edge of the building, arms folded around his torso in the same stance as the night before, a stance that made Ianto stop, his insides squirming slightly. It made Jack look lost, a look that Ianto wasn’t used to in the older man. He stood silently and watched, feeling torn between yelling at the man and wrapping him in his arms.

Finally, Jack shifted his arms in a movement that seemed to be smoothing down the front of his shirt before shoving his hands in his pockets, his head angling slightly to look out at the horizon, watching the sea meet the horizon in a blur of shades of blue.

“What’re you doing, sir?” Ianto called over the sound of the wind whistling over and around the building. Jack jumped slightly and twisted around. After a moment of silence, he twisted back to face the water.

“Go back to the hub.” Jack replied, his voice cold and authoritative.

“No.” Ianto clenched his fists again and hardened his stance, fully prepared for the obvious anger Jack showed as he whipped around and strode forwards, stopping only inches away from him. Jack glared into his eyes, his teeth gritted as he tried to control his temper.

“I said ‘Go back to the hub.’ That’s an order.” The captain was shaking with suppressed emotion, but Ianto stood his ground, not faltering under the intense situation.

“What in God’s name is your problem, sir?” Ianto continued, speaking in a cool and calm manner.

“You! You’re my problem!” Jack twisted away violently, stepping back a little and looking out at the sea again. Ianto felt his heart lurch and swallowed the lump in his throat. He couldn’t keep splitting like this. He was angry at Jack’s petulance, he needed to stay that way. As suddenly as he moved away, Jack twisted round again, fixing Ianto with a burning gaze again, taking him by surprise. “I wait a year to be with you and I come back to find you’re shacked up with some accountant.”

“Hang on-" Ianto did a double take, momentarily swaying away from the surge of anger he felt at Jack’s description of his current living conditions. “A year?”

Jack clamped his mouth shut again, eyes wide as he whirled around, stepping back to the edge of the building and looking out. “A month. I meant a month. I was gone for a month…”

Ianto shook his head a little, taking Jack’s word for it that he’s misspoken. Ianto noticed Jack’s hands come around his chest again, as if he was holding his rib cage together. The sight made his heart ache so painfully that his hand reached out and he’d taken a step forwards before he could stop himself. He took a moment to think through what he was doing and dropped his arm, hanging his head as he debated what he should do.

Jack was in pain, pain that he was causing, but he couldn’t do anything about that without causing pain to himself or Tom. He cursed silently for the predicament, but found himself wishing that Jack had never gone away in the first place, not that he’d never come back or that Tom had never arrived.

Turning around, he flicked his coat collar up and shoved his hands in his pockets. The confusion that had claimed his mind wasn’t going to be solved by standing on a rooftop. He needed to get back to work and finish the day. He needed to go home to Tom before he did anything else with Jack that he might regret later.